Let's Talk About: Natural Hair Bullies!

Have you ever encountered a fellow Naturalista that just wants to criticize everything about your hair journey?  I know that I have had my share of run-ins with what I call Natural Hair Fascists. The criticism received from these Fascists can be disheartening, to say the least.  It's bad enough that women with natural hair will face judgment from people that won't understand your journey, but getting it from other Naturals is just absurd! 

When you embark upon your natural hair journey, you want nothing more than to be embraced by other women traversing the same journey.  As you try to grow comfortable in your new curls, coils, and kinks, it is nice to hear words of encouragement from women like you.  

The beginning stages are the most critical, because it is at this point in time that you constantly wrestle with the idea of just giving up and getting a relaxer.  The support and inspiration received (or lack thereof) can either make or break your hair journey.  

To let you know that you are not alone... I am going to share with you some of the criticism, judgment, and hate that I have personally received from other women with natural hair.

1.  "Natural Hair Isn't for Everyone." 

Well why is that?  When I was transitioning, it was difficult to find styles that worked for me. I was extremely self-conscious because as a relaxed chick, I had always hid behind my hair. Hearing this comment from someone who was natural made me feel like crap (for lack of a better word); almost made me feel like getting the "creamy crack". Instead I chose to use it as motivation to prove how beautiful natural curls really are. 

It's sad to see naturals discriminate against other naturals because of their hair type.  I for one believe that it doesn't matter what number or letter type your hair falls into, rocking your natural hair is fine for absolutely EVERYONE. Now if you are not ready or don't have the desire to rock your natural hair, that is perfectly fine too.  I just don't think anyone has the right to decide who can and cannot embrace a natural mane.

2. "OMG, You Don't Finger Detangle Your Hair?!" 

I do... just not like I am expected to do.  Finger Detangling my hair would take entirely too long because I have very dense, thick hair.  If finger detangling works for you, great! However it's not always feasible for me to do it.  I am more comfortable with using my Denman brush to detangle this wild mane of mine.  You should always do what works best for you.

3. "Why did you go natural if you were just 

going to straighten it?" 

I have heard this one soooo many times, especially since I have had my hair silk pressed for the majority of the winter. Why is there this notion that if you have natural hair that you cannot straighten it?  It's my hair and I can do what I please.  I don't need you policing my hair and trying to dictate the styles that I should wear.  I thoroughly enjoy the fact that I can wear my hair straight and a couple weeks later, I can show off my juicy curls. The "Natural Hair Police" really need to back off.

4. "Hair Dye is not Healthy for Your Hair." 

I will actually agree with this statement under many circumstances. However, you can maintain healthy hair even if your hair has been colored. If you are practicing your hair coloring skills at home and using a boxed color, you greatly increase your chances of damaging your hair.  However, when I decided to add color to my hair, I had it professionally colored by my hair stylist.  My stylist is a color expert and takes great care in making sure that my natural hair is protected from damage.  It is possible to safely color your hair without damaging your curl pattern.  I'm living proof of that!

5. "You Must Want to Damage your Hair, 

Wearing Those Wash N Go's"

 Yes... Yes, Indeed... I just want to damage my hair. I absolutely adore damaged hair. (Was that sarcastic enough?) It is possible that you could damage your hair by wearing your hair in a "wash-n-go".  When worn too often it can lead to matting, tangles and breakage.  If you are just trying to be informative by saying the above statement... fine, I get it. Unfortunately, there have been times when fellow Naturals say this in a very condescending manner.  

I love a protective style just as the next girl, but sometimes I'm short on time and appeal.  Walking into work with Celie (The Colored Purple) braids is not always the best option for me. If you are not going to take the time to braid, twist, or style all of this hair on my head, then please do not tell me what to do after I wash my hair!

6. "I make my own hair products! I can't believe 

that people still waste their money on hair products." 

don't know about you but I definitely DO NOT have enough time to make my own hair products.  I have tried to make a concoction of different oils, butters, etc that ended up costing a whole lot more than just buying a product that has the ingredients that I am in need of.  If you have the time and the money to make your own conditioner, detangler, or moisturizer, then more power to you... but you will not bully me into feeling like a failure for choosing to purchase my products.

Word to the Wise

I can go on and on about the different types of criticism that I have received from other women walking on their hair journey.  I just hope that future naturals understand that no journey is alike.  What works for you, may not work for the next.  Because of this, I don't think it's necessary to try to judge what someone is doing with their natural hair.  The judgment, criticism, snickering, and side eyes are uncalled for.  The natural hair community should be a place of unity, inspiration, and encouragement.  We should be embracing all women that made the decision to love their natural curls, coils, and kinks. Offering sincere advice out of a place of love is totally different than being a pretentious, self-righteous Naturalista trying to force your views on everyone else.

Did I miss something? Have you been criticized by the Natural Hair Bullies/Fascists/Police?